The Investment Banker

I'm a solvent, suited, city slicker: pinstriped head-to-toe;
I splash my cash with passion - making my investment grow.
If you'll be my acquisition, I'll have to fight the urge
To try and take you over - so how's about we merge?

Let me fidget with your digits - Let me scan your business plans;
Can I caress your capital with soft, visible hands?
Let me share your Options - Let the Futures be our rock:
I'll delight your dividends and you can stroke my stock.

I'm a monetary mastermind, so show me your accounts
Hear me screaming "Oh My God!" at very large amounts;
Turned on by double-entry - I've got firm financial facets:
Find me breathless in your balance sheets, fingering your assets.

I'm a Business School postgraduate: first-class; MSc,
With a complex, carnal craving for fiscal policy:
When I think of the economy, I'm filling with elation;
As the interest rate is rising, I am fighting off inflation.

You'll find that I'm a boom man - not really into bust:
A fine, well-rounded figure is the object of my lust.
I'm a trader with a tendency towards a tidy profit:
Turnover. Let's be revenue! I'm getting my kicks off it.

Let me fidget with your digits - Let me scan your business plans;
Can I caress your capital with soft, visible hands?
Let me share your Options - Let the Futures be our rock:
I'll delight your dividends and you can stroke my stock.

So, if you're a common currency, a meeting we'll arrange. 
Or if opposites attract you, perhaps we should exchange
Numbers; credit histories; mutual appreciation: 
Let me fiddle with your funds and force you into liquidation.

Source: www.othertheresa.co.uk